Why do I do the things I do?

Dammit. Why do i do this? Even when he serenaded me with Mario's You Should Let Me Love You. On bended knee. In the office on a workday. Mmmmmmmmmm ;-) Well, not the whole song la, just the chorus. And now everytime i listen to that song, that scene is a flashback. Regrets. Darn.

After everything i said abt shit happening and getting on with life and not having excess baggage and playing aunt agony. god, i need an aunt agony myself! Thks luv ;-)

No matter how much you try to go against society, it will come back to bite your ass huh? Hmmmm. Well, yeah i guess some truth in that. you can make decisions and live it but society wont leave you alone, you'll be bombarded from all directions and at some point you'll feel like giving in just to shut them up. Its hard. You have to be really really strong, at the end of the day it depends on how hard you want it. hahahahaha.. nice choice of words ;-)

why is life such a game for me? why is it that once i get something, it doesnt hold a thrill anymore? i want it and then i push it away. darn, i'm a mess.

oh well..

Went to my cousins hse again over the long CNY wkend. Still had train tickets altho i bought them on Friday to leave on Saturday.. hahahaha..

So neways, as usual lah kan, played with the rottie and stuff. Family joined me there and my cousin took us offroading again. this time saw a few packs of monkeys, a black squirrel, a white squirrel and a water buffalo and 2 monitor lizards (and 2 dead ones), but the novelty is wearing off. now what would be good would be some wild elephants and tigers.. hehehe..

Mum made scones, ate it hot with butter.. mmmmmm, nothing beats that ;-) Also shared my breakfast of sausages with the rottie. and the next time i played with him, he almost bit my hand in two. oh well, comes with the territory i suppose. talk abt biting the hand that fed you. literally. the whole phrase might as well be coined becos of me!

well, so it was in the afternoon and i was outside reading and the rottie was in his cage. then he started barking in the direction of a coconut tree. so i thought there was some creature there and i go investigate lah kan.

and true enuff, it took me abt 20 seconds to stay still and adjust my eyes on the ground before i saw a monitor lizard in the sand, totally camouflaged. so the rottie had already seen it and was barking mad. so i let him out and he runs toward the monitor lizard. and guess what? you'd expect the lizard to run right? wrong. the lizard just stays still, so still that the rottie loses sight of its exact spot cos of the camouflage. so he runs to where he thinks the lizard is, which is about 3-4 metres in the opposite direction and THEN the lizard bolts. and by the time he turns around cos he hears the lizard running, he's too late. it was sooooo damn cool.. that was one smart lizard, i didnt know they were soooo smart. i mean as soon as it saw the rottie coming towards it, it should have bolted right, but it stayed. damn cun ;-) see, whoever said animals cant think are wrong. and this cant be instinct cos instinct would have told it to bolt asap.

have a BDV asgmnt due in a week, and its an individual paper, need to write abt 15 pages. and i cant count on next week, so i'll hv to finish it this weekend. darn.