Reality is Worse

Yesterday was a bad fucked up day. FUCKED UP. It all started with my laptop acting up (well its been acting up ever since someone tampered with it and installed Linux, insisting I try it out while extolling the virtues of this free OS that most people dont even want).

Anyway, I agreed, didnt like it, and this person was in my house yesterday to reinstall windows etc. You know what let me cut the chase and if you dont understand, well, too bad.

I moved through last night in a haze. I now know what people mean when they say they wished it was a dream, and will get up to reality when everything would be better. Oh I got up alright, but na-ah, reality is worse.

I never knew I would be a part of office politics - not just office politics but be royally screwed by it. I never liked politics, I'm more the kinda person who goes in, does work, and leaves. I cant be bothered with 'menjaga tepi kain orang' and stuff.

I now realise that people will say ANYTHING, and I mean anything, to paint a horrific picture of you, even if they have no proof, nary a shred of evidence. Verbal abuse, slander, etc. And I was caught in the middle. Victimised. It's kinda sad cos I loved what I was doing - going for press conferences (well, it's not all rosy of course, some celebs can be a pain in the butt), writing, checking the site for the number of hits each day, getting excited when it topped 300. Thats why I'm sad. Cos I loved being a part of it.

Unlike some people, I keep my work and personal life separate. My colleagues dont have to know what I do after hours. They should instead trust me to KNOW that I wouldnt sell anyone out.

Unfortunately everyone listened to the perpetrator, who, instead of finding proof and fighting fair, decided to go on a nasty, mean, name-calling spree, with no regards to facts. But then again, everyone loves a gossip right, and not just women!

It's also sad because some people are immatured not to be able to think, and not to know who to trust, not to know who's got their back; instead to point fingers without evidence (despite having a background in law - I wonder what happened to the phrase "innocent until proven guilty").

There's nothing I can do, as I always say - Talk is Cheap, Time Will Tell.

But until then, the journey will be marred with anger, bitterness, jealousy, rudeness, and assumptions, which we all know is the mother of all fuck-ups.